I have been in the habit of taking a few of my older songs that I liked, but not loved and rewriting pieces of them. This particular song I wrote quite some time ago. It was in February of 2011, which was my first year of teaching. And, my first year of teaching was hard. Although I can't remember my exact thoughts at the time, I know that life wasn't quite what it expected it to be. I clung to my faith, but I also wondered if God was what I expected Him to be as well. God is who He says He is, but He isn't necessarily who we expect Him to be. He certainly doesn't always act in the way our human and limited minds think He should act. So, this song is about me, and my need to take a humble and worshipful approach to who God is. I should always be longing to know more about Him. Not so that I can get what I want, but so that I can truly delight in God and enjoy Him. That will bring joy. It does bring joy - in my experience.
I still agree with everything I had written, but there was the start to depth to the song, but perhaps it needed a bit more. I had originally had some lines referencing the time of Moses "Is there death to pay should I behold You?" For Moses wanted to see the face of God, but he was told that no one may see God and live (Exodus 33:20). However, I didn't do much with that. God gave me a few more words recently that have become the bridge to the song and expound on that idea a bit further. Really, I think I would be overjoyed to have my cause of death be seeing the face of God. I think Moses would have been too! But, that isn't God's plan for us. We will see Him in all of His glory and worship Him and all of His fulness for eternity. The work is simply not done. But, in the meantime. I want to know Him. Also, there is a bonus reference to the words of Paul "For to live is Christ, and to die is gain." I think Paul gets that idea - to see His face and go on to our glory: amazing. But, to be here doing the work He has prepared for us: better.
Know You More
Coming back to the start of everything I thought I believed
Do I know who You are?
I fight my way through the dark but the more I fight the less I can see
How did I come this far?
Who are You? Though I fear You I long to know You
Is it true? Is there death to pay should I behold You?
I want to know You more
I want to know what is is I'm living for
For if to live is You and to die is gain
I want more than to fill this empty space
I want to know You more
My first childlike faith accepted what I now doubt it sure
I think it's time I made a change
Who am I but a poor reflection of what I don't yet see?
Turn the tides and show me Your glory
Shield my eyes as You pass me by and I may glimpse the brilliant light
If it leaves me blind, I know it was worth the moment of sight
My name is complicated. My parents named me Theresa. My friends call me "Pinky." My professional title is "Ms. Lindell." Choose one.