So, I have the opportunity to record near St. Louis this week for a change of pace! I'll miss Nashville and the Kitchen Groove studio, but I'm excited to record nonetheless. I will be recording Empty Spaces, which I have already written about, as well as an older song called, "This Is Who I Am."
I joke that this is the closest to a pop song that I'll ever write. Because, in my opinion, pop songs seem to be about something deep in the title and then really don't say much. The title "This Is Who I Am" would make one think that this song reveals a lot about me. It doesn't. It really just says that I want to be who I am. That can be a really cultural idea though, so let me tell you the background. I was in the middle of a really big decision: whether or not to move to Alaska and teach there. I decided not to, obviously, because I am still here. But, it seemed that everyone had their opinion of what I should do. "Oh, I've always seen you doing that!" "Why would you move? You have everything you need here!" "You should go! Live a little! Be adventurous while you still can!" "You are doing so well here!" And to be honest...I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew whatever I did, I would be disappointing someone. And when God didn't say much (that's a different song though for another day) and He let me choose, I was really in a pickle! This song is about wanting to be valued regardless of what path I chose, and about getting the courage to choose one. But, it is also a bit how I'm indecisive and unsure...it's what got me there in the first place. My high school students who have heard this song dig it - probably because they are thinking the same thing about their big decisions. So, there you have it...the almost pop song.
This Is Who I Am
26 years old
Making it up as I go
But I'm about to hit the scene
Do you believe me?
I've been chasing my tail to bide my time
Hoping if I don't go wrong I'll turn out all right
Now I've got too much on my mind
To keep it inside
This is who I am, if I don't let it out
I know I don't stand a chance
So, if I tell you my hopes and my dreams
Will you believe me?
Can I admit I'm still afraid?
And what I feel, it changes from day to day
When I've got my mind made up can it be unmade?
Do I have the chance to change?
I've got to call this shot on my own
Do I need assurance, Lord, I don't know
In the in between, this is me
It's who I am
This is who I am
Like it or not, I'll find the ground to make my stand
My name is complicated. My parents named me Theresa. My friends call me "Pinky." My professional title is "Ms. Lindell." Choose one.